I know that some of you are probably already tired of hearing about the mass murder that happened on the campus of Virginia Tech yesterday but I can't get it off my mind. First of all my prayers go out to those who lost loved ones and to all the people that lived through this horrible event.
I done a bit of research on this and I want to know where we have went wrong? When I say "we" I am not meaning just Americans, here is a timeline of recent school shootings. The shootings start in 1996 and yesterday would be the most recent, however it isn't on there yet.
The first one that I remember that I heard about was October 1, 1997 in Pearl, Mississippi. The shootings at school were bad enough then they found out that he had killed his mother as well that day. Then on December 1, 1997 I was sitting in a car dealership in West Knoxville having the oil changed in my brand new car. Those of us waiting were watching Good Morning America on ABC when the news of a school shooting in West Paducah, Kentucky got out. The one that is most memorable to me is Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado on April 20, 1999. I was at home that day taking a break from cleaning when the news of that shooting came across the tv and minutes later they had footage of the building and campus. I remember the fear that I felt for those unfortunate souls who were trapped inside with the two shooters.
Like I said, take a look at the timeline, it isn't just here in America. I keep asking myself if all these people who are always screaming "don't spank or discipline your kids" are paying attention to this. In todays society many parents don't use discipline anymore. They throw their kid some money or go buy what ever they want so that they will get out of their face and leave them alone. Parents who do that are sorry if you ask me. I am so sick and tired of seeing these spoiled kids that are anywhere from 8 to 15 with a cell phone stuck to their ear. What business does an 8 yr old have with a cell phone? My 15 yr old daughter gets upset with us because we won't buy her a cell phone. When she gets her drivers license next year she will get a cell phone but it will be for emergencies only, not a free for all talk all day marathon. If my daughter goes to the movies with friends (always accompanied by an adult) we give her our third cell phone. We didn't buy the third one just to look at ya know!
I do understand that there are certain situations where a child under 16 might need a cell phone and I am not talking about those children, I am talking about the ones that have a cell phone because they told mom and dad they wanted one so therefore it has to be.
In my opinion too many people have lost their minds when it comes to children. They want to treat the children as if they are adults and to me this is dangerous because if you treat them that way then they will expect the advantages of adulthood. Don't get me wrong, when my kids do something wrong I sit them down and talk to them about it as well however , it isn't like everyday conversation. I am interested in why they done what they did and do they understand why I am grounding them. I think it is so awesome if a parent is friends with their children, my kids and I are good friends but you have to draw a line somewhere and teach them that yes you are their friend but first and foremost you are the parent and that you are going to make some decisions that they will not like. Them knowing that you are the parent and you will discipline makes a world of difference.
Before someone gets mad about the spanking, I want to clarify that a bit. Mr. B and I do believe in spanking our children. First off there is a difference between spanking and beating. Second of all, ask any of my three children when they were spanked last and I bet they can't tell you, our youngest one is 9 so we usually only have to take away a privilege. Our kids are allowed two warnings then they get disciplined and by disciplined I mean that they get a privilege taken away. The thing is is that if your kids know and understand your system then you can just about bet that they will abide by it most times, of course there will be those times they push just to see how far you will go but they know when to stop.
Another thing about kids these days that chaffs my tail is they have no respect for anyone around them. What ever happened to saying "yes sir" or "yes mam" to our elders? When did it become about who has the most and who has the least? Children are taught that stuff these days. I would seriously like to have the chance to sit down and study the lives of those who have opened fire in school shootings. What made them click? Where did it start going wrong? Did anyone ever try to help these kids? I am sure I am not the only one with all these questions. I am not saying that the shooters were all spoiled at home either, that part was me climbing on my soap box. What I am saying is there was a problem somewhere, could it have been prevented, did anyone notice anything different at anytime about the shooters behavior while growing up, or prior to the shootings? Those kinds of things are what I am interested in.
I do want to say before I go (and this may open a can of worms but it is my blog so I can post what I want) that I think the most important thing a parent can do for a child is to get them in church and in touch with God. I am not talking denominations here because you can almost any parent from any denomination and they can tell you that having their children in church and into God has been a tremendous help, not all parents would agree but you know what I am saying. When you take your kids to church and they start getting in touch with God you will see a difference, it will be a gradual one but you will see it. This doesn't mean that all kids who go to church are good kids because that would be a proven lie. We go to church, let me say that over, we have the desire to go to church and we attend everytime there is a service or event unless one of us are very sick. My children ages 15, 11, & 9 have the desire to go church and they enjoy everything about it. On Wednesdays and Sundays there is no question about "are we going to church" because we are all excited to go. Give your kid a Bible and see what happens. Eventually they will turn to it. By taking them to church you will notice that you have an entire new family and set of friends called your "church family". I don't know what we would do without our church family, they are all so precious to me and they help me to be a better Christian.
I am using my kids here as examples so I want you all to understand that I am not saying I have perfect children. I use my children because I know them and their habits etc... My kids can be just as rebellious as anyone else's kids. Nor am I patting myself on the back for a job well done, instead I go to bed every night wondering if I handled a situation right that day with my kids or did I show them that I love them that day. Each night before I lay down to sleep I get on my knees and pray to God. I ask him to guide me through this thing called parenting because I think it is very important to be the best parent that you can be because their lives and futures are in our hands. Who they become depends a lot on what they have been taught and the thought that always gets to me is that our (meaning all of us with children) children are the next generation. Some of them will be in government, some will be teachers or professors, some will be our Pastors , deacons and so forth in our churches. It is a scary thought when you think about it, not that they will hold those positions but that you are what helps mold who they are by what you teach them and the values and morals that they take as their own.
Okay, I am going to climb off my soap box now and get busy. Y'all let me know your thoughts and opinions on this matter, I am curious as to what everyone else thinks.
Y'all have a good day, be safe and take care!
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6 comments:
It's just so sad isn't it?
My heart breaks for those families.
It is a tragedy and it just goes to show you what we've become as a society. The laws have become too leanient (sp?). Hardcore criminals expect rights when they should have lost ALL rights, the victims become the accused and the accused become victims. I could go on this subject alone for hours but I won't. I think you get my drift. I say it's high time we close the doors and take care of our own.
I am really heart sick for the families and the students in VA. It's a stupid tragedy that should have never happened.
Sadly I would almost bet close to 75% of people believe as you do as far as punishments...whats truely sad is that the remaining minority scares the politiciansso mauch that we get laws that disable us from discipling our children. I cannot tell you how much of an aggravation this is to me and to me is the root of so many problems with todays youth. With discipline would come respect and manners and so many other problems would be solved. I applaud you my friend for this and I will most definitely be pointing my two blog friends your way as suggested reading.....be watching for them haha
Prayers do go out to the families of the slain students and faculty and to the family of the young man who did the senseless killings. May God have mercy on his soul.
This senseless tragedy has really touched me. It is so hard to wrap your mind around the fact that a human being could do this to other human beings. Where does such an evil come from.
You make a lot of good points Breazy. We have a lot of angry, alienated, young people with no direction floating around out there. This is one more example of why we can't ignore the problem
My heart just goes out to all those families who lost someone at VT. It's just soo terribly sad.
People who won't discipline their kids drive me insane. They claim they 'just want to make their kids happy', but they are turning them into selfish, disrespectful, people, and when they find out as adults just how much other people don't like them, is that going to make them happy?
As for the various school shootings that have occurred, I think that this is not only a result of bad parenting and falling societal values, but a refusal on the part of people generally to realise how our advertising culture over the last two decades has magnified the kinds of images youth are trying to live up to, and are divided by.
This is a generation that has never known what it's like to live in a world where you were not constantly being told that what you wear, the music you listen to, and the things you own, define who you are. Advertising has never been so pervasive, and parents have never had less time with their kids. Rather than have them argue, parents let kids have their own TVs and video consoles in their own rooms, and as a result teach their kids that the way to stop contention is to avoid other people rather than dealing with them.
I totally agree with you that children benefit from a religious upbringing, as long as that religious environment is not an oppressive one. I think the most positive religious learning is where children are taught that freedom comes with responsibility and that choices have consequences, both good and bad. It is religions that make people feel as if they have no choices and no free will that upset me. I have friends that hate organised religion because they see it as something that made them feel trapped and guilty all the time.
I'm so grateful that this was not my experience. I would not be the person I am today were it not for leaders who loved me unconditionally, and teachers who encouraged my questions and helped me find answers (and were not afraid to admit when they didn't have one). I know church people can be as flawed as anyone else, but I at least feel like I am amongst people who WANT to be good and want to help each other become better, and I'd be happy to raise kids in that environment.
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