just for laughs....

Good evening all! Today I bring you a joke that was emailed to me, some of you may have read this before but until today I never had...ENJOY!

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(please note that this is not meant to offend anyone, I simply thought it was cute. Nor is there a meaning towards my husband, I love my husband very much and I am blessed to have him, snoring, farting and all I love him just the way he is and wouldn't change him if I could)

INSTA​LLING​ A HUSBA​ND

Dear Tech Suppo​rt,​

Last year I upgra​ded from Boyfr​iend 5.0 to Husba​nd 1.0 and I notic​ed a disti​nct slow d​own in the overa​ll syste​m perfo​rmanc​e,​ parti​cular​ly in the flowe​rs and jewel​ry appli​catio​ns,​ which​ opera​ted flawl​essly​ under​ Boyfr​iend 5.0.

In addit​ion,​ Husba​nd 1.0 unins​talle​d many other​ valua​ble progr​ams,​ such as Roman​ce 9.5 and Perso​nal Atten​tion 6.5, and then insta​lled undes​irabl​e progr​ams such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs​ 4.1.

Conve​rsati​on 8.0 no longe​r runs,​ and House​clean​ing 2.6 simpl​y crash​es the syste​m.​

Pleas​e note that I have tried​ runni​ng Naggi​ng 5.3 to fix these​ probl​ems,​ but to no avail​.​

What can I do?

Signe​d,​ Despe​rate


DEAR DESPE​RATE,​

First​,​ keep in mind,​ Boyfr​iend 5.0 is an Enter​tainm​ent Packa​ge,​ while​
Husba​nd 1.0 is an opera​ting syste​m.​

Pleas​e enter​ comma​nd:​ ithou​ghtyo​ulove​dme.​html and try to downl​oad Tears​ 6.2 and do not forge​t to insta​ll the Guilt​ 3.0 updat​e.​
If that appli​catio​n works​ as desig​ned,​ Husba​nd 1 .0 should​ then autom​atica​lly run the
appli​cations Jewel​ry 2.0 and Flowe​rs 3.5.

Howev​er,​ remem​ber,​ overu​se of the above​ appli​catio​n can cause​ Husba​nd 1.0 to defau​lt to Grump​y Silen​ce 2.5, Happy​ Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Pleas​e note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad progr​am that will downl​oad the
Farti​ng and Snori​ng Loudl​y Beta.​

Whate​ver you do, DO NOT under​ any circu​mstan​ces insta​ll Mothe​r-​In-​Law 1.0 (it runs a virus​ in the backg​round​ that will event​ually​ seize​ contr​ol of all your syste​m resou​rces.​)

In addit​ion,​ pleas​e do not attem​pt to reins​tall the Boyfr​iend 5.0 progr​am.​ These​ are unsup​porte​d appli​catio​ns and will crash​ Husba​nd 1.0.

In summa​ry,​ Husba​nd 1.0 is a great​ progr​am,​ but it does have limit​ed memor​y and canno​t learn​ new appli​catio​ns quick​ly.​ You might​ consi​der buyin​g addit​ional​ softw​are to impro​ve memor​y and perfo​rmanc​e.​ We recom​mend:​

Cooki​ng 3.0 and
Hot Linge​rie 7.7.


Good Luck Babe!​

Tech Support

You all have a great day, be safe and stay warm!

results from the x-ray

Upon being x-rayed and examined several times the doctors told me that Bethany has what is called an avulsion fracture on her iliac crest which in laymens terms means that she has a tiny hairline fracture on her pelvic bone from tendons and ligaments being overextended while running, they also said that some of the muscle has pulled away from the pelvic bone. Treatment requires 600mg of Motrin, which acts as an anti-inflammatory and helps the pain, every 6 hrs or as needed and lots of rest for the leg. The doctors excused her out of gym until March 2 if she has a doctors note saying that her person healed completely and she can return to full activity in gym. Bethany was not happy that she will not be doing the activities in gym and that surprised us because during Christmas break all she talked about was how bad she dreaded doing gym this semester but once the semester started it turned out that she is one of the top 5 fastest runners in the eighth grade at her school.

I don't know about anyone else but I am so over winter! Spring could arrive anytime and I wouldn't argue a bit. Since I am wanting Spring I am going to remove the Valentine template I now have and "Spring" up my place here so that I can have that wanted season now even if it is in Cyberville only.

Since it is Friday evening I am going to cut it short here, actually I can't quit sneezing so I need to sign off. I hope each and everyone of you have a wonderful weekend, be safe and stay warm...God Bless!

Y'all come back now, ya hear!

blah blah Wednesday...

Good Wednesday morning! Is it just me or does it seems that almost anything you try to do concerning a doctors office you have to go do 20 other things before you can even get an appointment in that doctors office? This is about the third time in the last 6 months I have tried to make an appointment with our pediatricians office for one of my children and have been told to take them here or there for this test or that then call them back and they will make an appointment. Bethany, our 13 yr old daughter, has injured her side and is having a rough time participating in gym class at school. I have written repeated notes that she is not to participate until the doctor has seen her to find out what exactly is going on but to no avail. Her gym teacher is aware that there is a problem but up until Thursday she had no sympathy and what caused her sympathy after class Thursday was that she saw Bethany limping when she walked, so she told Bethany that she wouldn't make her participate in gym on Friday and to make sure that Bethany was not pushed into doing the activities I kept her out of school until after gym class was over, gym is Bethany's first period so she was at school before 10AM. I called the Dr.'s office twice last week and was told the first time to call back on Friday because she was out of town until then. When I called back on Friday I was told to call back on Monday because there were no appointments available throughout the day or during the sick clinic in the evening. I called back Monday and was told to call back today because of the schedule being full, Monday I let the appointment desk know just what I thought about all of this "call back" crap. This morning I called and of course the regular day schedule is full so she will have to be seen in the night clinic then I got transfered to the night clinic appointment desk , had to leave a voice mail and almost an hour later I finally received a call back and was told that I have to take Bethany to Children's Hospital for X-Rays before her pediatrician will see her. Needless to say, at this point I am passed pissed over all this calling and still no appointment. I told the nurse before hanging up that I would take her to Childrens for the x-rays and that by the end of the night they would see her in the pediatricians office or I was calling the main dude over the office, hospital and anybody else I could get in touch with.

What really has me puzzled is that our pediatricians office is in a hospital, University of Tennessee Hospital to be exact so why can't they make an appointment and do the x-rays there? As I told the nurse, my child will be seen in her pediatricians office before the night is over or I am going to sling more stink than a sewage truck emptying at the end of the day. It is so frustrating because I have been trying to get my child seen for a week now and still no one has checked out her side. Another thing that upsets me is that because of insurance purposes I have to put up with this run around because I can't just take her to the ER or I will be charged the complete bill plus another fee if it isn't considered a life threatening emergency. The insurance has always been wonderful but they are in the middle of making changes and that is why I am having to put up with the run around. Either way my child will be seen today or I am going to put my mean mom face on and take care of business.

Anyway, I didn't mean to post a venting session but that is really all I have for now. I hope all of you have a great day and I will be back tomorrow with better news concerning Bethany and her injured side. Wish me luck!

bad storms, superstitions, and a bad tempered bus driver

Wednesday we had some very severe storms to move through, the same string of storms everyone from the midwest to east coast saw either on Tuesday or Wednesday. We were under a high wind warning all day Wednesday into early Thursday morning. I am sure that a lot of you got to experience these winds and know exactly what I am talking about. Around 10:30AM Wednesday I was sitting on the couch folding clothes when I heard this awful shattering, crunchy sound. For a moment I sat there praying and listening because I knew the sound had come from a tree falling somewhere very near to my house. Once I realized that nothing had hit the roof I jumped up to see what tree had fell. About 20 feet from our back door the top of a big tree was lying there. For the rest of the day I was a bit worried because I knew the wind was only going to get worse and I didn't want to be sitting here alone and have one of the big trees fall through my roof on me so I kept an eye out and thankfully even during the worst of the winds later on there were no more trees blown over that close to the house.

Around 3:00PM things started heating up in areas northwest, west and southwest of us. Our school system closed about thirty minutes early so that the kids could get home before the storm hit but Bethany doesn't get home until 4:30PM each day and the storm rolled in here before she could get home and that is why I was standing outside taking pics, I was watching for the bus. The first pic is of the storm coming in, the wind was starting to really pick up right after I snapped this one. This view was taken looking west over my neighbors garage.














This second pic is right before all hell broke loose. The area that looks similiar to a funnel cloud isn't, although we had a tornado warning on us and rotation had been detected by doppler radar. I was on the porch when I snapped this pic where as in the previous pic I was standing in the yard beside the house. Within two minutes after this pic we had horizontal rain and winds that were wicked. Thankfully no major damage was done in our area and no one was hurt.














It is Friday the 13th and I am not very superstitious but I am married to an Irishman who will say he isn't but his actions prove differently. If we are driving down the road and a black cat runs in front of our vehicle Mr. B will mark three tiny x's in the top corner of the windshield, no matter what building/house/store..etc. he enters, the door he enters through is the door he will leave through, even though Mr. B does hardwood flooring and is on construction sites often he will not walk under a ladder or scaffolding no matter how far he has to walk out of the way to get around it. It is funny because he says Friday the 13th doesn't bother him however he doesn't get out much when it is Friday 13th, other than work of course and he tries to get that wrapped up early. Mr. B's birthday is March 13 and next month it will fall on a Friday, he will be a bit reluctant to go out and eat or do anything else until the next day.

My sons class is having their Valentine's party today at 1:30 and I am going in early so that I can chat with the principal about Ty's bus driver. This week she has chosen my son to pick on and I am fed up with it. Everyday this week she has had something hateful to say to my son and I am done with her. Wednesday Ty was trying sit down and the kid behind him kept pushing through and as Ty was trying to pull his foot out of the way the boy rushed through and tripped over it then said Ty done it on purpose when Ty's bottom hadn't even hit the seat. All the other kids on the bus tried to tell the bus driver what had really happened but the ill tempered woman wouldn't listen. She yelled at my son to tell her what he was doing and when he tried to tell her she screamed "shut up" before he could say five words to her. It really hurt Ty's feelings and he tried to appologize to the other boy even though he hadn't intentionally tripped him but the boy and the bus driver both yelled at him so by the time Ty entered through the back door of our house he had watery eyes and was very upset, he also had four neighbor friends with him who were right behind him and wanted to tell me what had happened. Yesterday when Ty loaded the bus to come home the bus driver started yelling at him again telling him he had better behave that day and then she grabbed Ty by the arm and told him to look at her when she was talking to him. When Ty got home he told me that the woman was either blind or dumb because he was looking at her when she roughly grabbed his arm. So, today I will be speaking with the principal about this woman and if something doesn't get done then Ty will no longer be riding the bus with this idiot as the driver.

Bethany, my13 yr old, rides the same bus Ty does except that she is picked up after the elementary kids are dropped off. She said this woman driving the bus is crazier than an outhouse rat and has written everyone on their bus up at least five times this year and some of the kids didn't do anything to get wrote up. Bethany said the driver was telling one young lady not to do something anymore and the young lady answered "yes M'am" and the bus driver yelled at her saying she was being a smart alec. Evidentally this driver has some problems and today the principal and I are going to address them because she isn't going to yell at my kids and grab them, I am not having it and that is the end of it.

I hope y'all have a great day!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I'm ready for Spring...

I always want snow every winter but it doesn't snow here much anymore. We might get a couple of dustings and sometimes, like Monday, we get maybe 2 to 2 1/2 inches which isn't enough to be called snow in my book. Monday the forecasters said that it would start out raining and by late afternoon we would have flurries and a possible dusting but when Monday came things were completely different. By 10 AM it was snowing so hard that I could barely see my neighbors house and every flake was sticking. They called school out at noon because roads were getting slush covered and slick. The kids finally went back to school this morning and I am happy about that but I am wondering when our next system will come through that will keep the kids our for two or three days. The weird thing is that Sunday it was 60F and very nice outside then Monday the cold and snow came but by this weekend we are supposed to be back up to 60F. All I can say to this is if it is going to snow it needs to do so, I am talking like 8+ inches and get it over with then I want Spring to come rushing right in here.

As a kid the cold temps never bothered me but now it doesn't take much to make me freeze, must be the getting older thing even though I am not that old. I am ready for Spring. I want to smell freshly mowed grass and blooming buds. I want to be able to throw my windows open and let the house breathe, hang my bed sheets out on the line to dry in the sunshine, take long walks, and last but not least I want to wear the lighter clothes that comes with warmer weather, all of this heavy winter garb is about to strangle me to death and I won't even mention the static that zaps me every time I touch something. When I go to the grocery store I am sure that people find me weird because before touching cans or opening the cooler/freezer doors I always clap my hands first to discharge the static that has worked up in me, I do the same before pumping gas but I am not the only one doing that.

I don't know how much I will be around in the next couple of weeks, not that I am around a lot now, because things are going to be very busy here for a little while but after that I should be able to get on regularly.

I hope you all have a good day and stay warm!